The Craven Arms and the power of Twitter or Things to do in Birmingham when you aren't dead.

Hello again, nice to see you.  Here's some advice, which you can apply generally in life and more specifically in Birmingham (UK).

While I'm out and about doing stuff for my day job, I occasionally get the odd evening to myself in a strange place.  There aren't many stranger places than Birmingham, and I found myself there this week attending a conference at Aston University.  Technically, Birmingham is the UK's second city, but arguably there are others ahead of it in the queue - but I had to go, so what did I do?

It did require an overnight stay, so that left me with a few options.

Option 1 - The Conference Dinner

Frankly, any invitation that says 'dress to impress' gets short shrift from me, so that was right out.  Plus who wants to see a whole bunch of people getting tipsy on 'champagne' (poor quality sparkling white) and then getting leathered on whatever rubbish, overpriced booze is in the hotel bar before shuffling off to each others rooms for some kind of tragic, and largely ugly, nasty shag-fest.

Option 2 - Try and meet up with old chums

Whilst you are younger, there is a strong possibility you might get to do this, in fact I managed to do this last time I went to Manchester (I'll write about that another time), but the sad fact is that when it's 15 years since you left Uni, trying to get your diary to fit with your chums is almost impossible, especially when stuff like finding babysitters comes into play.  No chums available in Birmingham.  Not an option really.

Option 3 - Sit in my hotel room and watch telly

Come on, you don't seriously think I was going to do this did you?  Shame on you.

Option 4 - *This is the option to choose*

So, if you find yourself in the same boat (and this applies to any city), make use of social media.  I'm lucky that I've got quite a few other bloggers who subscribe to my twitter feed (and I to theirs).  One quick tweet just asking "Decent pubs in Birmingham?  Or a decent bottle shop?  Going this afternooon to our third(?) city" was all it took.

Within minutes, I had recommendations from two excellent (and more prolific) bloggers (Matthew Curtis http://totalales.blogspot.co.uk/ and Andy Parker http://www.graphedbeer.com/2014/08/london-beer-city-mtb.html , they were swiftly backed up by some other people with whom I am less familiar - and then by the actual pub that was leading the recommendation list. (and they flashed a few indicative beers at me by the way of temptation - Evil Twin and Brodies)  The pub was The Craven Arms in Birmingham.

 

This, this my friends, is what a boozer should look like.

So, after actually attending the conference, I made my way into central Birmingham.  It's slightly off the beaten track, but only about half a mile from New Street Station, Upper Gough Street B1 1JG if you need to set your navigation tool.  If you are visiting Birmingham, even if it isn't for a conference, I can highly recommend this place.

It's not a huge pub inside, but the place is set up so that it sort of feels bigger than it is.  There are shielded areas with tables so you can pop yourself into a corner if need be.  There's even a nice little section for the solo traveller with a selection of books, left there on a take one/leave one basis.  I opted for the bar, I wanted to scout out what beer they did have on...and boy did they have some beer on.

Salopian Sentinel for starters on cask!  8.4% of superbly conditioned beer.  I had a half of one of these poured before I even clocked the abv or indeed anything else in the bar.  It was totally worth it.

This is tasting notes done right

Whilst sipping on my first drink, I took the liberty of writing down (actually, tapping into my phone so that I didn't look too much like the anorak I clearly am) some of the fancier beers I could see behind the bar, here is a non-exhaustive list:

Buxton, Summer Wine, Brew by Numbers, Siren, Hopped Duvel, Orvel, Schneider Weisse, De Molen, Weird Beard, Magic Rock, Le Chouffe, St Bernardus...the list could go on.  Sadly I'd already eaten, but they also had some locally sourced pork pie that looked so good it made my mouth start watering.

What a joy it was to see was that this pub is clearly celebrating good beer in whatever form it comes. Bottle, keg, cask, there were even some cans in the mix.  The brewery that owns the place deserves some of the kudos for this, so well done Black Country Ales for having the confidence to allow their pub to be expertly managed by Chris and Sharron Sherratt.

The owning brewery - pumps front and centre and keeping the more traditional crowd happy

I was lucky enough to spend an hour or so with Chris and Sharron who explained to me some of their background and how they came to be running a pub in central Birmingham.   Making the shift from being a pair of teachers, they have clearly turned to drink (I can't imagine a profession that would make me more likely to do the same) in a positive way, turning a love for good beer into creating the kind of pub that any discerning drinker would be pleased to have on their doorstep.  Their enthusiasm is the infectious sort - and they are creating something special.

They've only had the place 18 months and they've already starting winning awards...they'll probably never win round the die hard CAMRA people, but I think their philosophy of the beer having to be good, rather than being tied to a method of storing beer is the one that will eventually win the game.  Although, I would note that Chris personally does an expert job looking after the beer that needs looking after - I didn't have a single off note all evening.  The population of the pub was a healthy mix of old and new, seasoned and unseasoned, unkempt beards did not abound.

Whilst we were talking, I got my gums around the Stardust by Tigertops Brewery, the Not Too Robust Bob by the 4T's brewery, the Mosaic Plus by Hopcraft and the Pale Ale by The Kernel.  Every drop was delicious, I didn't dare tackle the 13% IIPA from Evil Twin brewing although I wanted to - I had stuff to do the next day.

Chris and Sharron are very friendly and even consented to a photo!  Thanks guys for the warm welcome.

Chris and Sharron - Landlord and Landlady extraordinaire

So - in conclusion, if you are at a loose end in Birmingham, you should dash in here.  If you are at a works conference, option 4 is the only way.

As a post-script, I should note what I observed on my way back to the hotel.  The last of the conference dwellers were in the bar, and I spotted what could only be described as a beast of a swamp donkey dragging an incoherent bloke towards her room.  I shuddered, chuckled, and silently congratulated myself on making a great decision then went upstairs to sleep the sleep of the slightly tipsy yet righteous.  

Thanks for reading - and remember, harness social media for your pub recommendations.  You know it makes sense.

Until next time.

Judge not, lest thee be (beer) judged.

Hello

I'm writing this whilst I've got an experience fresh in my memory, although not so fresh that I am still refreshed (although I reserve the right to refresh myself either during or immediately after I have finished this writing activity).   As is the fashion, I'm not going to write about process, it's more of a reflection, or maybe a musing.  Frankly I can't be arsed to do a Google: define thing.  This should not diminish any enjoyment you may draw from this post.

Yesterday, I went along to the Ludlow Beer and Food Festival in Ludlow Castle.  It's the third year that I've been invited to judge at this wonderful event run by the Society of Independent Brewers Association (SIBA) - for those who weren't paying attention to YouTube at the relevant moment, here is a link to my first appearance there in 2012 with the ever lovely Charlie and Cheryl who work with SIBA and Quantock Brewery respectively Ludlow 2012 ).



Clearly I was a bit tipsy that first go around, but judging was very new territory at that point for me. Having the discipline to get through thirty odd beers and retaining your wits as well as your palate is bloody hard going.

So anyway, back to the action.

It's 2014 and @realalein140 is making his way to Ludlow solo, no Real Ale Craft Beer to hold his hand this year (he was in Poland, brewing with a Pole), just a book, a camera and some diaoralite (for dealing with any potential hangover on the train home) - and it's this experience of flying solo that's given me inspiration for today's drivel.  You see, the SIBA events are great in terms of the panel of judges they assemble (as well as the beer they have).

  Beer!

 



Who did I meet?  I'm not going to name names (mostly because I'm awful at remembering names), but I am going to consider some of the 'types' that I have met in my three years of attending.

Type 1:  The Happy Brewer

These guys are the best.  They know their beer, they are enthusiastic about their beer, they also know their science and their sanitary conditions.  As long as you demonstrate some knowledge of what they do and an interest in how they do it, they'll be happy to talk malts and hops, yeasts, off-flavours and mash temperatures - for me, having taken up a little bit of wholegrain brewing as a hobby, this is brilliant.  These guys are a wealth of interesting stuff, they'll also generally make the best recommendations as to what is behind the bar in that happy window of an hour or so when the beer is still gratis (before the public enter).   They will be happy to get a little bit tipsy with you once the results are out.

Type 2:  The Miserable Brewer

Despite the title, I like these guys.  Often northern for some reason, maybe I'm mistaking northern-ness for miserableness.  I don't think so though - I did live in the north for some time, so I've got a handle on the difference.  Think Fred Dibnah, but interested in brewing rather than industrial history.  Once you've got the twinkle in their eye going, and not shown yourself up by being loud (in a southern way), or flashy (again in a southern way) and again shown some knowledge and interest, these guys are pretty good value.  There are some that I've found to be impenetrable though, and that's down to either me or them being an unsociable arse.  I couldn't possibly prejudice your thoughts on this.

Type 3:  Young-ish CAMRA bloke

The 'young' is slightly misleading, but I hesitate to use the word 'new' because it isn't quite right.  These are the CAMRA people that understand that maybe the CAMRA acknowledged definition of what is real ale was probably a reaction to a particular kind of culture and set of circumstances some time in the mid '70s. These are the people that will happily accept that a good beer is a good beer, regardless of the journey it has undertaken to get in their belly.  These are good people to drink and natter with, they'll have an open mind and understand what you are doing as a blogger, hell, they might even appreciate it - or even be doing it themselves.

Type 4:  Old-ish CAMRA bloke

The 'old' again is misleading, it relates to attitude.  I have undoubtedly cheesed off a number of these guys. When you enter into conversation with them, woe betide if you are a blogger or a 'product of the modern age' as I was referred to as once.  It's like you can't possibly compete with them unless you had a flat cap and remember Watney's Red Barrel when it was still nice (I don't know if it was ever nice - in a sense I don't care either - it's not been sold in my drinking lifetime).  These guys don't want you in their special club, no matter how big your beard.  If anyone can think of any sensible reasons for this, answers on a postcard (or in the comments box).  Maybe they just don't like anyone, maybe their prostate is playing them up, you can never tell.

Type 5:  Other bloggers

Pleasingly, I've yet to meet another blogger at a festival with whom I felt anything other than an immediate camaraderie.  These guys understand the struggle.  We have reputations to try and maintain, so doing these events is a serious business for us.  You've also got immediate common ground and probably some recommendations for each other.  A quick hello here to the Ormskirk Baron and Christopher R (whose excellent work can be found here .

Type 6:  Industry people

These people are sometimes very interesting.  They'll be selling scientific aids or peculiar widgets or things that go pop or bang (or stop things from going pop or bang), or an app or some-such.  Often they are in attendance as their company has sponsored an award.  Whatever they do, they'll probably have some insider information about who is buying what or who is doing things a particular way - information that will be recycled after an appropriate amount of time as knowledge - and bloggers like their knowledge.

Type 7:  General public

Only one minor difference between them and the bloggers really, these people are in this for the pure pleasure and hedonism of trying a dozen ales before lunchtime.  I've been to festivals in this guise - it's bloody great.

  Hic!

So there, a quick round-up of attendee categories.  I'd be interested if you've got any others to suggest.

Until next time.

Cheers

Beer Hero - Cardiff

This is the first of what will be a short series of occasional, vaguely entertaining posts relating to some individuals I would like to nominate as a Beer Hero.

What is a Beer Hero realalein140?  I hear you cry (note for new readers: artistic licence is employed to the full on a regular basis in this blog, it has to be or I'd just be asking myself questions, which gets a bit boring after a while).

Loosely defined, and lets face it, loosely is about as good as it gets around here - it's a bit like being a superhero.  Except I don't require anyone to wear their pants outside of their normal clothes, or indeed actually have any super powers.

What a Beer Hero does have in common with a superhero, is that they have to have a clear link with a place. Batman has Gotham City, Superman bosses Metropolis, Spiderman dosses around New York, and Supergran I think is probably drawing her pension in Edinburgh.  Frankly, I can't be arsed to double check that last fact, so if it is wrong (and how many of you are googling it already, shame on you, your attention span is rubbish), please don't bother letting me know in the comments.

I'm not sure if there is a precedent for superheroes living in the same city, but I'm presuming it leads to some sort of ruckus.  Again, I'm not taking this to extremes and so will not be employing this as part of the criteria.

Wow, I've really weakened the superhero analogy here.  Anyway, I've started typing now, so you'll have to bear with me, no matter how tortuous it gets.

Ok, so maybe a dictionary style definition would help?

Beer Hero 

/bi(e)r/ /h'(e)ro/

A person that Realalein140 has nominated to be one.

Phew, well, I'm glad that cleared that up.

Anyway, onwards and outwards (you may have noticed from my videos that upwards isn't a thing with which I have every really engaged).

Today's beer hero is a Beer Hero for Cardiff.

Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you Ali, the proprietor of Discount Supermarket in Roath, Cardiff.

It's an unassuming looking place from the outside - and I don't think enough is made of the fact that there is beer inside.  That's not a criticism by the way and clearly I'm biased, but the point I'm making is that you might walk past without incident if you didn't know what was inside. 

Ali has created a little beer haven.  In this shop in the last few months, I have rekindled my love of finding something new, from what might be a fancy London brewery, one of the brilliant west-country brewers (e.g. Bristol Beer Factory) or an established northern one (Saltaire), but there is a massive range, I've even started working my way through the saisons and various Belgian brews.  To top it all, there is a brilliant range of American beer available, with brewers like Ska Brewing, and Anchor making regular appearances.  You want Danish beer?  Icelandic beer?  Jamaican beer?  Welsh beer? He's got them all.

I've had my first tastes of Beavertown, Brodies, Partizan and Weird Beard from this place.  They are all sublime, and I can't believe it took as long as it did to get them in my belly.

So - the man himself?  Who is this masked crusader?  Is he a bird?  Is he a plane? (Ok, I'll stop)  This is him...

The final piece of the Beer Hero jigsaw is that he knows his stuff and he remembers the regulars.  What more could you ask of a Beer Hero?  Especially one who is only only 8.5 miles from my doorstep.

This photo was taken under duress and on the hop, I will be filming at some point soon with him, so you'll get to see the shop and Ali almost live and on Youtube if you keep your eyes peeled.

Ali, I salute you, and all who buy beer in your shop.  

Until the next blog post, cheers.

Beer, social media and 'community'

Well.  It's been a while.  Nice to see you again, or if it's your first time here, welcome.

Today, I wanted to touch on the beer community as experienced by a a thirty something white male with a couple of years worth of blogging/vlogging under his belt.

People often stop me in the street and say 'Hey Chris, what's it really like out there on the edge of the cool gang in beer world?' (They don't say this, but hey artistic licence).

So, my answer to all of these (admittedly imaginary) people that you meet through social media?

First:  Facebook

It's just like real life.  Except, well, in real life I choose friends differently.  I have 'added' people to my facebook who in real life I would never tolerate.  Maybe in their mind they are like Gumbo in ID or Begbie in Trainspotting.In reality they are probably just a dick.  The worst part is when these people club together.  Imagine a self validating Gumbo/Begbie combo.  Not nice is it?

The difficulty is that a group of individuals tend to settle around the lowest common denominator and it isn't long before they are threatening to hit people in the face with bricks.

These are people that wouldn't understand hyperbole if it literally jumped out of a pint glass and poked them in the eye. 

Blokes in my experience, generally rub along ok together (oo-er).  If there are differences between men these should be resolved between the two men.  Not through a test of strength, 'flaming' - aka being a dick for imaginary internet points or armwrestling (hard to do virtually), but through an open and honest dialogue unencumbered by drooling halfwits on the sidelines who are effectively shouting 'fight, fight, fight' from their vantage point. 

I applaud those bloggers/vloggers who haven't got involved in the latest public spat.  The dispute is between two men.  Leave them resolve it.

Facebook is a nightmare for this.  It seemingly has turned men into caricatures of Dynasty women (sorry girls), with incredibly bitchy behaviour becoming the norm.  Don't like what someone did?  Ban them from your group and talk about them incessantly (be sure to check for all alter-egos before you do this).  Also, pick on their hair, this might help your self esteem.

Anyway, onwards and upwards.

Second...

Twitter:

This is the place to be.  Compared to the Tesco experience that facebook offers, this is a veritable Waitrose of tidy people.  I don't think I've talked or managed to follow anybody who is even a bit rude (even accidentally).  If they even were accidentally rude, they were probably mortified before I even noticed.  Okay this is slightly idealised but you get the whole juxtaposition thing I'm driving at yeah?

Arguments (as in the intellectual process of argument) are settled with facts and gentle coercion.  Differences of opinion are allowed.  I've never seen a Twitter campaign that wasn't publically available to the person being assailed (so avoiding the schoolgirl bullying mentioned above). 

I was welcomed on Twitter.  I've talked to some great people and built up a modest count of followers.  My feeling is that people take you seriously if you can communicate. 

What's the difference?  Does the ability to form a coherent opinion in 140 characters help you find civilised people?  Probably.  Actually, no, definitely.

Is there more?
Yes...Reddit:

This is the new boy on the block for me. I think it sits between the two sites mentioned above.  Largely the community is American but there are some interesting sub/reddits that are relevant to beer fans.  Still a bit cliquey but early days yet.  Check it out, quite interesting.

So.  Back to the point.  What is the beer community like?  I suppose you could liken it to pubs.  Facebook is the Dog & Handgun (probably a Wetherspoons) on one of our less salubrious estates.  Twitter is a lovely old thatched pub that serves real ale, the pub has a dog.  Redditt is a trendy wine bar with some fancy bottled beer. 

Thanks for reading and remember there is a real community out there, go buy some beer and enter it.

Cheers

In Support of Deaf Beer Fans

Sometimes, you happen on something that you didn't know was there before.  This is a short tale of when that actually happened to me.  It was this evening, so not a long time ago, but it moved me to get off my lazy arse and actually write another blog post.

The title may seem odd and it is ever so slightly tongue in cheek, but if you think about it, (which I did, however briefly), you realise how cut off deaf people can be from the world that we all take for granted.

I was doing some admin type bits on my Youtube videos (which can be found  HERE) and wanting to check what I had said about a beer I had had before, (I'm not a computer or Hopzine and don't have instant recall of every tasting note I've ever made).  As I was doing this, the cursor lazily hovered over a button I hadn't really had sight of before.  It's a little icon that looks like a cc.  As it hovered, words came up on the screen, it took me a few seconds to realise they did bear relation to at least some of the words I was saying on the screen.  


What I had come across was the Beta version of Youtube subtitles.  What I had also come across, was a source of amusement.  So, in part to raise awareness of how some people are left outside of the brave new digital world, and partly for some cheap laughs, here are some choice quotes on beer, as interpreted by this service.


Here is a quote from my review of Bear Republic Hop Rod Rye:


'theres not stempel, asking this is just what kind of boja peninsula cannot simply be strip for me, is not their because its a strong god wants it and a half percent'


Makes perfect sense, no?  I thought it was maybe me, with my lazy, west-country accent and my occasional tendency to use slang and colloquialisms.  So, I thought I'd better confirm this by watching some of my fellow beer chums on their reviews.


So, Mrs Real Ale Guide Mrs Real Ale Guide on Brooklyn Brewery East India Pale Ale, she's the poshest person I know, so it should turn out great, yeah?


'probably, its gonna make me back useless equipment, uh, now its not as good as some of that America during peacetime...basically kidnappings arms'


Insightful stuff, I'm sure you'll agree.  I didn't know Mel was so keen on international relations.


So, what happens when Somerset Real Ale Reviews gets in on the act with his review of the excellent Thornbridge Wild Swan?


'tonights fix it takes a lot this topic of nation and is a very call culmination, congregate colours that too, but you get all of these qualities are so for every death for his release'


Just for a second, it made sense, then it started getting all Lord of the Rings.


It was getting serious at this point, so I thought I'd better find a cockney accent, everyone can understand those, yeah?  Eastenders is a kind of cultural touchstone that everyone in the world understands, even googles robots...yeah?  So, to the Urban Viking and his review of Stone Sublimely Self Righteous :


'at this hour, chocolate fruit, heres whats on your time, sprout, you know its completely finished on this'


Now, I've not had this beer, but I doubt that Stone were looking for sprout as the thing that you would take away from that particular beer experience.  Also, I'm not sure Dave was going for the rap style middle to that section.


Anyway, enough ramblings.  There is a serious point to this blog and it is so serious, it isn't even evading me.  Youtube have a lot of work to do on this service, but I'm glad they are doing it.


Until next time.  Cheers.

An Open Letter to UK Brewers - Social Media

Hello

I'm new(ish) to the blog/vlogosphere, and I've got some observations for you based upon my short active time as a blogger and a long-standing fan of beer.  They relate particularly to how social media can open up doors for you and conversely how it can backfire.

To give you some background as to my expertise in this area, I work in education.  I've been lucky enough to work on some interesting social media related developments and had some exposure to consultants in the area.  The university sector is starting to catch up with Social Media as a concept, but for most people it's kind of a blind area and although I don't blame you for not being up to speed (after all, for most of you, social media is not your main field of expertise, brewing beer is), I think some of you could do with some help.

So, below are some propositions and ripostes for you to consider:

1)  Social Media is where it's at - I must do whatever I can to gain exposure via it or I will fall behind the competition

In part this is true.  Social media does look to be the dominant area for exposure in the future and finding a way to get yourself exposed through it probably is quite important.  However, it is up to you to do your research.  If you are contacted by a blogger or a vlogger tapping you up for some free beer, work out what the value of their goods and services are to you.  It's the same as paying for an advert.  Do your research.

Would you pay anything for an advert that was full of poor grammar, ill informed or that came from a less than reputable company (possibly with a history of stealing underwear from washing lines)?

Check out the person on the internet, read their work, watch their videos.  Check out their viewing figures.  Look at what other people in the beer community make of them, either by studying Twitter, Facebook or Youtube (or get someone conversant with social media to do it for you if you aren't).  You can tell a lot from what is available in the public domain and very easily and quickly too.

2) If I send this guy some beer, it'll get me a good review on the internet

All publicity is not good publicity.  The men (and women) of beer world know their stuff, they are very often geeks.  This is not a crowd that will be impressed by a disingenuous reviewer, particularly one that is talking complete nonsense.  If they suddenly see a beer that they know is not great being proclaimed as the greatest thing in the world since, err, the last beer that person did, the penny is very quickly going to drop.

You are better off with a genuine reviewer who will, if your beer is not awful, (and why do you make it if it is?), do their best to pull out the style, flavours etc that will mean that their rating, whilst personal to them, may be irrelevant to the person watching who may still go out and buy it because of what has been described.

3)  Wow, this guy is writing a book (probably the oldest form of social media), I've got to be in that

Seriously, are you really going to fall for this one?  Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get a book deal?  See also my comments about literacy above.  If someone says this to you, ask to see confirmation from their publisher that this is true.  Ask to see some of their writing.  If they can't produce both of these...tell them to cock off.

Here endeth the rant.  I just don't want to see you guys taken advantage of.

Now, I'm not going to pretend that I haven't been slipped the odd free beer (5 at the last count).  I am grateful for each one and do my best to do them justice.  For me though, I'm new.  I wouldn't ever expect to receive anything for free unless I had something genuine to exchange.  If someone checks me out and decides I'm worth a punt, well, that's pleasing.

Thanks for reading





 

That tricky word beginning with S...

In my last post I touched on how long a session might be.  Ignoring (on purpose) the tricky question of what is the ideal ABV for a session beer.  Forgetting briefly (and conveniently) that I haven't yet defined for you what I take to be the meaning of the word, I'll carry on typing.

Given the recent 'Session Beer Day' in America (which Chad from Chad'z beer reviews tipped me off about), I thought I'd tackle the subject here and pass on my lack of received wisdom.

I'm going to be controversial and say, there is no ideal ABV for a session beer.  I'm going to continue down the road of controversy briefly stopping at the realms of surprising town and say that the ideal ABV for a session beer for me is absolutely not any lower than 4% and I would consider something up to 10% to be 'sessionable'.  Does this make me mental?  Maybe.

I am not an enormous fatster, coming in under the 9 stone mark (and never have been over).  I don't have the capacity these days to continue for half a day, so a session for me is locked around the the 4-ish hour mark.

Does this mean I drink a 10% beer at the same rate as I do a 4% beer?  No, that would make me a complete moron and probably dead (if for no other reason than my wife would give me a good hiding for drinking like that).  However, I might sup 2 10% beers for 4 hours when I might have 5 4% beers in the same time period the next day.

As well as the ABV consideration, I have to take into account the body of the beer, I simply couldn't stomach  drinking beer that was heavily carbonated for too long without ending up like that scene in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory where Charlie and Grandpa Joe fly up to the ceiling and have to burp to make their way back down.  Similarly a big heavy stout (which would end up the next day with a scene similar to the demise of Augustus Gloop  - actually I'll stop the Wonka comparisons now, it's getting disgustingly clinical), would sit too much on my stomach and stop me having fun.

So - as well as the complex equation I drew your attention to last time, there are more factors to introduce.  namely, abv, body and carbonation.  Or if you like A, B, C.  It's as easy as that.

So, what have I learned from writing these companion pieces?

1.  A 'session' is a period of time when you can have a drink, no more, no less.
2.  I definitely don't think that ABV should be considered the defining quality of a 'session beer'
3.  The term 'session beer' should only apply to those beers that you think you could have more than one of (dependent on ABV) in a given amount of time

Let me know what you think

Cheers.

What does a 'session' really mean?

I've been thinking about this recently and had a couple of conversations with some of our revolutionary friends over the pond about drinking culture in the UK, and I've come to a few conclusions.  Bear with me whilst I blurt my thoughts out onto the page, then you can have your wicked way with them.

There are a number of questions I think that need answering to get to a decent definition, but as with so much about beer, I think essentially, it is a moveable feast.

For the purposes of writing here though, a session is time spent in the pub.  I do not count fancy wine-bars, nightclubs or the local disco as being a place where a session can occur.  A session should involve, friends, bar-snacks (I'm thinking frazzles, scampi fries, dry roasted nuts), lots of great conversation, a bit of piss-taking and either a light snooze, an Open University programme or a repeat of See Hear as a finale (depending on time of end of session).  You will likely be a bit tipsy by the end of a session and may encounter mild double vision, slight staggering, spoonerisms and mild declarations of people being your best mate.

Now, that's out of the way, so, how long is a session?

Right - well, this is where it gets tricky (right at the start), but I think I can draw some conclusions here, the length of your session is defined by some kind of tricky equation involving the following factors:

Being a student/amount of children/time spent married/age/weight/ability to drink/gravity of beer being partaken

If each of these factors is low, the odds are that your 'session' time is going to be longer, so for example, the session for the 18 year old student with no children (unmarried) that weighs 12 stone and can handle his booze is more likely to be able to undertake a long session than the man who is holding down a job (and therefore has limited time for a session), has several children (and therefore has to consider how responsibly he might have to be acting), has a wife (and therefore is statistically more likely to be in IKEA than the pub), weighs 12 stone and can handle his booze.  It's a bit like The Seven Ages of Man really, but with beer.

So, to briefly sum up the nonsense above, let's try and put a label on what a session is for a couple of sectors of society - this is not by any means an exhaustive list and is for illustrative purposes only.

1)  Student

A session is an amount of time defined only by how long the pub is open, what time they managed to get out of bed, and how big their overdraft is.  Potential for 12 hours.

2) Young working professional (20-30)

A session is defined by the fact that they will likely be confined to weekends because they will be too busy being together, being professional and searching for a wife/husband.  A session may still be a decent length of time but is likely to be tempered.  Likely session 8-10 hours (including time for the gym, getting fancy haircuts and going to Habitat).

3) Married professional (30-40)

A session is defined by how much time they can either get away from their other half (or if they are lucky if their other half drinks - how old their children are), whether or not they have made the journey into quality beer products and how high their cholesterol count is at the moment.   The session is likely to be no more than 5-6 hours unless they get lucky.  

Warning, sessions that last longer than this may get you into trouble with your wife (if they weren't present) for such acts as 'weeing in the garden', 'repeating yourself endlessly' and 'falling asleep in front of MOTD'.  You may also end up in IKEA the next day as punishment.

I haven't gotten any further than the third category yet, but I'll be sure to update you all when I do get there.  My kids will be in their teenage years by then, will it go full circle and I'll enter a world where an overdraft is no longer a necessity for a 12 hour session - or will a long session no longer be an attractive idea to me?  If you are older and wiser, feel free to let me know what you think.  I have to go now to mentally prepare myself for IKEA in the morning.

Cheers

Does beer have medicinal qualities or what?

Right, just to give you the background to this, I've been poorly.  I don't mean man-flu or whatever the derogatory term for a man's illness the female of the species choose to be dismissive about.  I mean I've had a sore throat...for ages, and now it's turned into a full blown head cold so bad that I have been forced to consult a 'neti-pot' for some simple relief (actually they are quite good, I recommend them).  


Rest assured (in case you are worried), I've seen the doctor and it is apparently nothing sinister and doesn't even require antibiotics - and no, I didn't take any time off work and yes, I did still get up and do the early shifts with the kids.


Ah, I hear you say, but if you have been ill, I bet you haven't been drinking have you?  Well, you'd be wrong in surmising that.  Very wrong indeed, and you'll have lost your bet.


The life I have chosen as someone who reviews beer has meant that my actual reviewing has been somewhat stymied as I would want to get the best out of any beer that I reviewed.  So instead I chose, nay welcomed this ongoing throaty nemesis to be part of a grander experiment, one that spoke to all man.  The answer to the question that is as old as life itself...what beer should I drink when I am unwell?  Where do I find the answers I hear you ask?  Reader, I wrote them underneath here.


The first question to resolve for me was, should I waste decent booze on me whilst my ability to enjoy it is curtailed?


The simple answer to this is, YES, of course you idiot.  Beer is one of my few vices, so even to glean some enjoyment after a hard day at the office (other than that my wife, children, dog and Xbox obviously bring me), makes it worthwhile.


The second question to tackle involved me identifying the symptoms quite precisely in order that I came up with the right 'treatment'.  In the early stages (bearing in mind I started feeling grotty at the end of February) I was suffering from a sore throat and an ongoing sniff (some of you may have spotted it on my videos, apologies for that).  So I experimented with several kinds of beer.  So, what then, is the best medicine for this stage of illness?


In 3rd place, a chocolate porter was quite good, and I went for the Meantime one several nights running, not a big bottle and a high-ish ABV, so no bloating involved.  Quite smooth as well and the flavours were not subtle.  
VERDICT:  TOO STRONG, NOT ENOUGH OF IT 


In 2nd place, I experimented with a few different stouts, in my weakened state, they were all much of a muchness in terms of taste but I picked up the basic and obvious tastes, but the generally lower ABV meant I could lubricate my throat for a longer while.
VERDICT:  TOO WEAK, ENOUGH OF IT


In 1st place though and by an absolute country mile, it was the DunkelWeiss Beer from the Arcobrau (which is sold by Waitrose).  I am surprised that this stuff is not available on presciption via the NHS.  The smell, the taste and most importantly how it felt caressing my mouth and throat before winding its merry way down to my belly was absolutely spot on.  Two of these and I would feel a temporary release from the chains of man-pain.  Maybe there is something medicinal about the cloves?  Maybe the water quality is the thing?   Maybe the carbonation is just right to make it all better?  Maybe Germany was right the whole time (no, wait, not that one).
VERDICT:  JUST THE RIGHT STRENGTH, JUST THE RIGHT EVERYTHING, BETTER THAN HEROINS (PROBABLY)


You can clearly see the winner, well done Arcobrau.  The only difficulty is that Waitrose have run out (mostly because I bought it all).  Luckily for me though, I am no longer in need because as mentioned above, this bug has now matured and turned into a massive headcold, so I think I am going to have to alter my medication.  My head tells me that the way to go might be quite spicy, mega hoppy beer, my heart says go with the Arcobrau, my hands say, stop typing and just go and get yourself a beer.  Ok I will.  


If you've got any recommendations for beer as medicine, please feel free to detail them in the comments below.


Cheers

A bad pint? Or a Sneaky Hangover? YOU decide.

Now, I'm an experienced drinker, I don't want you getting any misconceptions about that.  As such, and particularly since I started blogging/vlogging my tolerance for beer (although strangely not other kinds of alcohol) has increased.

So when I go out for a 5 hours or so, and have a grand total of 4 pints, accompanied by a substantial lunch half way through the session, I expect the following:

1) Fall asleep in front of the TV upon returning to the house

2) Having a little 'beer-sleep' between about 7:00 - 8:30

3) Waking up refreshed and having another nice beer (maybe just one strong one) to round the day off

4) Wake up next day, clear as a bell, with possible penchant for bacon

See if you can spot the difference with my routine yesterday:

1) Fall asleep in front of TV upon returning to house

2) Have a little 'beer-sleep' between about 7:00 - 8:30

3) Wake up feeling slightly odd, put it down to vertigo

4) Hurl the entire contents of my stomach out into the kitchen sink due to not being able to make it to the bathroom

5) When I did make it to the bathroom, well, I had to use a lot of bleach, let's put it that way to avoid me being indelicate

6) Wake up next day, drink tea, go back to bed till lunchtime, surface about 3, feel human by about, well now (21:49)

So - the culprit?  It wasn't the food as my mate had a different meal to me, and apparently he was rotten as well.  So, my bony finger of justice points at a bad pint.  The worst part of this, if that is the case, neither of us spotted the fact that we were imbibing something bad...which is of course, dreadfully embarrassing, unless you dear reader can reassure me.

Have you had a bad pint, disguised as a pint that was ok?  Have you had a similar experience?  If so, I'm sure there is some kind of no win, no fee solicitor that will be able to get us a big fat cheque each for the mental anguish suffered as a result.

BOMBAY 106 Original India Pale - Durham Brewery

Sometimes, 140 characters just isn't enough.  I'm also finding tha,t sometimes, a vlog isn't the right thing to do either.

I've been sent some beer by the Durham Brewery doubtless due to my connection to the best and most passionate beer reviewer I know (Check out Simon on real ale guide on Youtube).  The least I could do is give it a full write up here.  Otherwise, that degree in literature would have just been a big waste of three years.

I am a big fan of IPA's in general, whether it be the big hop styles or whether it be the more traditional.  I've had a curry for dinner in preparation (curry is optional but helpful with IPA I find).

So - to open it.  The bottle does warn you that this may be a little lively and to have a glass ready.  I didn't do this, I would advise you that you should.  I had the foresight to buy a keyboard that is able to drain liquids (due to having three children), you may not be so lucky.  In my rush to move the beer away from the PC, I got some on the chair as well (which I didn't notice), so I also now have a damp backside.  It's amazing how little beer it takes for your buttocks to become uncomfortable.

Anyway.  Enough of my damp behind.  To the beer, batman.

It pours nicely, plenty of carbonation in here, tellingly the smaller type of bubble indicating that this is a well conditioned beer, the head has developed quite a lot (see pic), but I think that's because I used what is actually a lager glass (schoolboy error).  The head does leave some nice lacing on the glass though (I know this before tasting it as I had to surrender a couple of gulps to the wife).

The texture?  A viscous mouth feel, gives you a warning that this is coming in at 7.0% abv, but that's no bad thing.

The flavour?  First of all you pick up quite a lot of the malt in this, and a traditional English golding hop flavour.  The bitterness develops in the mouth and leaves in a crescendo of bitterness on the after-taste.  It's a beer you'd want to savour over a good hour or so, not a thirst quencher, but something you'll want to keep supping at.

This is a beer to respect and not only due to the abv, but because it's clearly been brewed to a very high standard.  I can recommend this and the other beers in their range, you can buy directly from their site http://www.durhambrewery.co.uk/ and you probably should as they haven't yet got as far as distributing to lowly Wales which seems to be a long way down the beer pecking order at the moment (curse you Brains).

A rocking 9/10 from me, and whilst you are here, I can heartily recommend their Temptation Russian Stout and the St Cuthbert IPA (and yes, it was free and no, I'm not sucking up - this blog won't work unless I'm honest).  All excellent, I hope to get hold of some more of their stuff soon.

ttfn

Buxton Spa - Special Pale Ale from the Buxton Brewery

This, and let there be no mistake about it, is a cracking beer.

Don't be fooled by the fact that it's a pale ale from up North, it's not something to be put in the same league as the traditional English (think Sammy Smiths) style of pale ale.

So, first things first, what happens when you pour it?  Presuming you've followed the instructions, the sediment will be settled at the bottom (this is unpasteurised), you'll get a nice smooth pour which won't leave you with an icecream head, what you get as you tip the last of it is a few little bits of sediment which will land on the head.  If you aren't squeamish about consuming the fingernails and the foreskin of the original brewer, leave it in there (or don't tip the bottle up), if you are, you can scoop it off the head quite easily.

Now, get your nostrils over the edge of the glass and inhale deeply.  You'll be hit by an amazing wallop of ruby red grapefruit, I'm guessing it's a Nelson Sauvin hop that has done that, the bottle doesn't say.  A second whiff will give you something akin to the smell of undiluted Um Bongo.  Don't panic about this.

Now, take a sip (or a big long draught), you'll get the grapefruit straight away,  you'll get the bitterness (it's tart but not so much it's unpleasant) hitting your taste buds once the beer has been round your mouth and is down your gullet.  It's not that fizzy - so don't be too concerned about the lack of burp, one will come and it will be worth it.

For my money, this is one of the best new style pale ales out there and the beauty is that unlike some of the other big hoppy English beers, it only weighs in at 4.1% abv, which means that it's a great beer to session.

In terms of food, this would sit well with a thai curry or a chilli.  The way it would wash away the lingering heat from the food whilst complimenting the spiciness and aromas would be excellent.  However, it can equally be enjoyed just sitting down and looking at the telly/the sea/a mountain (everywhere) on it's own.

You must try this beer, it is absolute nectar.

9/10 from me.